Get Me To The Church On Time



Get Me To The Church On Time is the fifteenth episode of the first season of The Joker Blogs. It was first uploaded on Youtube on March 9, 2010.

Plot Summary
At the start of the video, Jeremiah mumbles that this is the worst night of his life. He asks Pearl to turn off the car lights as it's bad for the battery, but Pearl tells him to shut up. Jeremiah complains that the Joker has been in the apartment complex for so long, while Pearl frets over how badly her cuffed wrist hurts. As the Joker, now dressed in Garrett's tuxedo, comes back, Jeremiah laments about how much it will cost to replace the battery. The Joker begins fixing his bowtie and glances at Jeremiah, noting that he looks grumpy. Jeremiah agrees he does, stating his grievances such as worrying about his wife who was left with a stack of dynamite, the fact it's cold outside, how he has been forced to wear the Joker's dirty prisoner jumpsuit, and that they're in a dangerous part of town. Additionally, Jeremiah points out a sleeping homeless man behind a nearby fence, only to notice the man is now awake. He asks the hypothetical question of what the Joker would've done if he and Pearl were dead by the time he came back, to which the Joker says he would've given the homeless man a job. Jeremiah insists the Joker needs them, but the Joker just laughs at his assertion. The Joker unshackles Jeremiah from the car and forces him to come along as he confronts the homeless man, all to prove how replaceable Jeremiah is.

With his gun pointed, the Joker grabs the homeless man and demands to know if he wants to die. The man nervously stutters and confirms he does. The Joker looks surprised by his answer. The man then elaborates he was fired from his job for inappropriate conduct with a female co-worker, his wife leaving him after she found out, his daughter shunning him for his actions ("I hope Daddy burns in hell for what he has done!"), his house being seized by the government due to tax evasion, as well as his car being blown up by a "weird armored car" (the Batman's Batpod). Intrigued, the Joker asks for his name. The man tells him it's Theodore, but the Joker starts calling him Ted. The Joker forces Jeremiah to give him his wallet and offers Ted $20 if he helps them make a movie. Ted is at first skeptical because he doesn't want to take off his pants, but the Joker assures him it's not that kind of movie and to get his mind out of the gutter.

As Ted is now acting as the cameraman, the Joker praises him for doing a good job. Ted tells him that he used to be a cameraman for GCN (Gotham Cable News). The Joker remarks it's good they have a professional now, to which Jeremiah scoffs, realizing that was an insult directed at him. Ted asks where they are going, and the Joker says it's a surprise. After the Joker confirms it might be dangerous, Ted asks for a gun. The Joker gives him one, much to Jeremiah's dismay since Ted is not exactly in the right mental state to be armed with a weapon and he sarcastically asks for a flamethrower since it's almost Christmas. As Ted practices holding the gun, Jeremiah is in the midst of telling him to be careful with it, when Ted accidentally fires the trigger. The bullet misses hitting anyone as Pearl halts the car. The Joker revokes Ted's gun privileges, though he comments had he hit Pearl, he might've been able to keep the gun. Ted admits he has never fired a gun before, to which the Joker teaches him how to grip it in his hand as he guides the revolver to point at Pearl's head. The Joker urges him to squeeze the trigger, but before Ted can, they are interrupted by the sound of a police helicopter hovering in the sky. The helicopter's lights miss them as it flies off into the distance. The Joker nonchalantly wonders who they are looking for and takes the gun back from Ted while sardonically asking if he is a gun-toting maniac with an insatiable bloodlust. Pearl is in tears as she begs to be let go so she can go home to her family. The Joker tells her if there is one thing he has learned, it's that home is where the hurt is. He fiddles with the radio, briefly hearing a news report about Lyle being found, before settling on the song "Crazy".

As the road trip continues, the car passes through a tunnel as there is off-key and awkward singing from the occupants of the vehicle. Upon arriving to the outside of the church where the wedding will take place inside, Ted declines to go in with the Joker, stating that he used to be a priest. The Joker passes him a pair of garden shears and tells him to use it on Jeremiah and Pearl if they get out of line or if he gets bored. Before heading into the church, the Joker goes around to the car trunk and pulls out a shotgun. He then saunters off with the weapon in hand, while a stunned Jeremiah is flabberghasted by the reveal. The camera cuts to static.

Characters

 * Scott McClure as Joker
 * Steven Molony as Dr. Jeremiah Arkham
 * Joy Dolo as Pearl
 * Andrew DeVary as Ted

Production Notes

 * "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley plays on the car radio.
 * As the car moves through a tunnel, Ted, the Joker, and his hostages sing a rendition of "Killing Me Softly with His Song".
 * On the way to the church, the song "Chapel of Love" by The Dixie Cups plays.

Event Chronology

 * The events of "Get Me To The Church On Time" occur after "Killing Kopski" and before "Shotgun Wedding".

Episode Connections

 * This episode's opening title screen references several events from past episodes. "Steal car" occurred in "Car Trouble", "Pick up Lyle" occurred in "Let Sleeping Dogs Lyle", "Have Dinner" occurred in "Dinner With The Arkhams", and "Kill Kopski!?" occurred in "Killing Kopski".
 * The Joker, Dr. Jeremiah Arkham, and Pearl came to the Narrows at the end of "Road Trip".
 * The Joker got the tuxedo in "Killing Kopski".
 * Mrs. Arkham was left with the dynamite in "Dinner With The Arkhams".
 * Jeremiah started wearing the prisoner jumpsuit in "Trick Or Treat".
 * The identity of Ted's ex-wife is made known in "Technical Difficulties".
 * Lyle's rescue was due to events that occurred in "Road Trip".
 * What occurs after the Joker goes into the church is seen in "Shotgun Wedding".

Multimedia Connections

 * Ted's mention of a "weird armored motorcycle" destroying his car is a reference to the Batpod which Batman used in The Dark Knight to chase after the Joker.
 * The woman on the radio who gives the report about Lyle being found is Summer Gleason, a news reporter. This character also appeared in Batman: The Animated Series.